Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Sleepwalker

Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011

Winston Churchill Sleepwalking

Later in life, the stresses on Winston Churchill began to take their toll, sometimes manifesting in extended sleep walking sessions. Typically these did not interfere with his responsibilities as Prime Minister, but on March 22, 1955, all that changed.

He began his day normally, with tea and crumpets, but soon fell into a deep sleep. Despite Clementine’s best efforts to rouse him, he refused to leave his bedroom chambers, bellowing “Winston Churchill naps when Winston Churchill WANTS to nap!” Clementine knew that Winston had to be at a Parliamentary meeting in the House of Lords at five o’clock, so after a few hours, she went to check on him. Much to her dismay, Winston was nowhere to be found.

Worried that he had fallen into one of his “spells,” she began a frantic search. Unfortunately, she was too late. Winston had already left the premises and was en route to the meeting, still fast asleep!

When he arrived at the House of Lords, it was immediately apparent that something was different about Winston. His eyes were shut and his normally jovial demeanor had been replaced with a catatonic trance. Miraculously, he was still able to navigate and managed to make it to his seat, where he proceeded to observe the meeting. As the session was drawing to a close, Winston suddenly stood up and exclaimed “Let’s see you put that in a film, Ms. Riefenstahl!” and promptly woke up.

Embarrassed and confused, Winston struggled to regain his composure, however this incident is thought by historians to be an important factor in his decision to resign two weeks later, on April 7, 1955.

Chocolate Aficionado

Saturday, January 8th, 2011

Winston Churchill Bust

Winston Churchill’s love for chocolate was so profound that every year, for his birthday, a special package was delivered from Belgium. The contents of this package? A life-size bust of his own head, made of the finest Belgian Chocolate!

The Cat Farm

Monday, November 8th, 2010

Though never formally trained, Winston Churchill was compelled to sketch a likeness of Mr. Charles Darnay, his favorite cat, as he galloped through the pastures of the Churchill Cat Farm in the Bavarian Foothills.

Dearest Clementine,

I write to you with the most wonderful news! Our vision has finally come to fruition; the cat farm is nearly complete. If you could only see Sydney, Lucie, and of course Mr. Charles Darnay frolicking about, bounding through the vast pastures of the Bavarian foothils, I am quite sure your heart would very nearly burst with elation.

Sweet cat–I kiss your vision as it rises before my mind. Your dear heart throbs often in my own. God bless you darling keep you safe & sound.

With fondest love,

W.

Apple Hat

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

winston churchill hat
Winston Churchill’s trademark hat has been a point of much controversy among historians. Some say it was merely empty. This viewpoint has been cast aside with evidence from his wife Clementine’s biographer, who wrote:
“I asked Winston (Churchill) for an apple, and he smiled and reached for his hat, knowingly. He always kept an apple under his hat, just in case” -March, 1949

J6: The Grand Unification of Fitness

Friday, January 15th, 2010

vintage-fitness

Winston Churchill’s exercise regimen was specific and rigorous. When war broke out, he wanted his soldiers to be in tip-top shape. His grand unification theory of fitness culminated in a masterpiece known by the code name “J6.” A engineer was commissioned to perfect the desgin and produce a prototype. As dignity was not meant to be compromised, the user remains able to wear his normal daily attire. Due to the secret nature of the project, this is the only photo that remains.

Papa’s Little Fancy Boy

Monday, January 4th, 2010

fancyboy

Despite being more than five years older than his younger brother, John Strange “Jack” Spencer-Churchill, Winston Churchill was considered to be the handsome son in the Churchill family. His considerable looks are thought by historians to be the reason for Winston’s childhood nick-name: “Papa’s Little Fancy Boy.”

“Not in MY airspace!”

Friday, December 4th, 2009

142421

Every year, when the bird’s would migrate south, Winston Churchill would stand on the same patch of grass in the palace garden with his shotgun pointed toward the sky. He’d shoot at the migrating birds, shouting after every shot, “Not in MY airspace!”